When it happens you’ll know. Trust me – you won’t miss it. However, once you know, you cannot unlearn this information. At first you will wish you could, you’ll try to ignore it; but try as you might you just can’t. You will in time come to accept it as fact and move on. For some it might take, days, weeks or even months. For the deeply entrenched full acceptance may never be achieved.
Carrie Bradshaw. Blair Waldorf. Serena Van Der-Whatshername. Cher Horowitz.
Shocking, yes? Their lives aren’t real. They aren’t real. You’re aspiring to be like them because? What, you want an unreal life? Your life may suck (read: probably sucks), you probably wear the same thing more than once, you probably go to bed without wearing a bra (Carrie!), you probably smell, you probably say the wrong things, you probably have a shit job, you probably can’t afford to eat out every night, you my friend are probably real.
Yes, being a real person sucks major ass. I know, for I too am real. Being real means getting bills, getting pimples, putting on weight, losing weight, not doing laundry, drinking questionable milk, watching porn, masturbating, not shaving regularly, having diarrhoea, being sick, going to hospital, having your furniture ruined by cats, being robbed, being conned, falling down, being an asshole, getting wrinkles, getting cancer, going to funerals, and dying.
Aspiring to be like a character is as good a vocation as trying to turn water into wine; or hundreds of dollars into shoes. You can’t do it – you know you can’t do it. Yet you continue to waste your time trying. Hours and dollars are thrown at the cause, and for what, so you can say you have Manolo’s just like Carrie. While the rest of us real folk are chuckling away to ourselves, paying off our houses and going on vacations – but you’ll have your shoes – which by the way will be out of style 15 minutes after you got them. Next time you covet what the Blair’s, Carrie’s or Serena’s of this world have remember this quote from Oscar Wilde: Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to alter it every six months.
Repeat it, internalise it, and stop hero-worshipping characters who don’t even take their bra off to go to bed (!) – you should have grown out of that by now.