I hope this letter finds you well? How is your relationship with PayPal? Still as strong as ever? See what I did there? I enquired as to your wellbeing, even expressed an interest in your goings on. It’s what friends do – and you see I thought we were friends. Good friends even, I have always treated you with respect and never used and abused you like others do. Our relationship was good and solid, so when I got an email from you yesterday with the subject ‘suggested just for you’, my heart leapt with anticipation. You do know me, I thought, you do care for me… Wait, what?
I eagerly opened the email with the fervour of an impatient toddler on Christmas day. In that moment my email took to load my drifted away, wondering what you – who know me so well – could be suggesting I would like. For starters the fact that you even took time out of your busy day to not only think of me, but to also type it down and send it out into cyberspace – well to say I was flattered is surely an understatement. As my excitement heightened I started to think that maybe this was it – that you wanted to take our relationship to the next level. Isn’t that what all the women’s magazines say – random, just thinking of you texts or emails – are the sign that you are on their mind. That can only be a good thing right?
The email loaded and I instantly realised I was incorrect. You don’t know me at all! Not even a little. All those years, not one fight or argument, only good times – yet here you are suggesting things that quite frankly my courier knows I don’t like. For one thing, you are suggesting I purchase an Xbox game I already purchased from you. Aren’t our interactions special or interesting enough for you to even bother to remember? You helped me find the best deal, remember? Or were you just paying me some lip-service then texting whomever else the minute my back was turned?
It was then I knew we just were no longer as close as we once were. Dejected – I didn’t bother with the rest of the email; it was just suggesting generic stuff that anyone should like. Maybe we were never that close, perhaps I was the one who read the signals wrong. Maybe you aren’t to blame at all.
I don’t want to know the answer.
We can still be friends; I just don’t think I can think of you as I once did. Consider this letter the changing of our relationship status from ‘friends’ to ‘acquaintances’.