Life Is What Happens When You Stop Being A Jerk

I once had the gall to say that most people should have life figured out by the age of 27.  I said this when I was 21, I remember saying it, not because I have some super-fired up memory, but because of the looks on the people’s face to whom I said it.  Those looks are burned into my brain.  I said this when I had just started a new job, we are talking weeks here people.  I had just met a group of colleagues ranging in age from 20 to around mid 40’s.  I’m not entirely sure how it came up, but I made the sweeping statement that, yes, at 27 you should have you life figured out.  Now I didn’t necessarily mean that you had implemented everything you wanted to achieve in your life, but you at least knew what you want and had some direction to go about.

The only person to raise any real protest was a women in her mid 40’s.  She must have thought I was a dead-set imbecile.  Little did she know at the time that foot-in-mouth is a specialty of mine and I would be providing her with gems such as these for years to come.  In the end, she rolled her eyes and moved on, she knew when to pick her battles, and arguing with someone barely out of her teens about life was not something she was prepared to waste her time on.  Fair fucking call.

I can barely recall any memory from 13 to around 23 years of age without having a major face palm moment.  Seriously, ‘young and dumb’ doesn’t even begin to cover it.  I am now on the cusp of turning that magical number 27 and I gotta tell you I couldn’t have been more fucking wrong.  I will say that I do know myself better now, and I have a vague plan of the types of things I want to achieve and the paths on this earth I wish to tread.  But to say that at 27, or any arbitrary age, that you should have life figured out is pure bollocks.  Besides, who wants to have life figured out.  Life is all about the curve-ball.  Life is what happens when you stop being a jerk (also, something about making other plans, but I like my version better).

When you turn 27 you get cake with a side of perspective… Well you will at least get cake.

For instance, my boyfriend is in charge of our food budget.  Each fortnight I give him my share for groceries and he plans and purchases all we need for the 2 week period.  It’s a good system, he is the cook, so he decides how our food money is spent.  However today he informs me that he forgot his car insurance would be debited, so now his account is in overdraft.  Our food money happened to be in another account, another account which can only be transferred to his primary account.  Of course the amount over drawn is almost exactly our food budget.  And he isn’t paid till next week, and I’m not paid till the week after that!!  Normally, I could step in and help out, but I can’t this fortnight, I spent my whole pay packet on bills it was one of those months you have when everything is due, on the plus side I now have no bills! I figured I’d knock all these bills out the way then just cruise at home for 2 weeks knowing that everything is paid.

The point of this here is story is that this is an example of life.  This week may have remained fairly unremarkable, except now we have to put our thinking caps on figure out a way to feed ourselves on a pittance.  Don’t despair, we will make do, whilst it may not be the most exciting week in culinary history, we have food in the pantry and fridge/freezer, we just need to get creative.

After all, if worst comes to worst we can always eat the vintage cereal.