Relaxed Enough For You?

Today, someone told me to relax.

So I killed them.

“Relaxed enough for you!” I screamed, as I paced around their lifeless corpse, bouncing on the balls of my feet, electric with homicidal energy.

Okay, so that never happened.  But I kind of wish it did.  The level of rage I experience when someone says to me, ‘you just need to relax’, is just below homicidal and just above someone stealing your car-park at the mall the week before Christmas.  Meaning, I am pretty damn livid.

‘Do you hate me?’  I feel like asking.  Because the arrogance that connotes with telling someone to relax  insists that you either, don’t know me at all, or, hate me.  It can only be the latter as what chump would tell someone they don’t know to relax?  No one, is the answer to that question.

Did you know it is actually impossible to chillax.  It is.  To relax, is by virtue, quite relaxing. However to both chill while relaxing simply can’t be done.  Unless we are using the other equally important definition of chill, that is to make cold, in that case, yes, I suppose you could chillax as it were.  Perhaps if you found parking your caboose in a meat locker relaxing you could have quite the chillaxing time.  In which case, fill your boots, you are an outlier of society anyway.


8 thoughts on “Relaxed Enough For You?

  1. When I hear that “you need to relax” tone, I feel like murdering someone as well. And then I feel guilty because I feel it.

    Yeah, a softy here leaving her trace on your amazing post.

    • You are the nicest person on the internet. Seriously!
      I was just thinking of you sitting here with my morning coffee. You will forever be associated with coffee in my mind. It makes me savor it a bit more – that sounds very corny. But you know what I mean. Girls gotta have her coffee!

      • Thank you! But I’m not really that nice, more respectful and fascinated by someone who is true and honest with oneself and the readers.
        And coffee is always good! My bf jokes that I’m always up for two things coffee and a new book. Actually I can skip the book, but coffee… neah.

      • Coffee and a new book, the ultimate combination. This morning I was torn between reading or going on the computer while I had my coffee – obviously I chose the computer. Part of the reason a coffee is so nice is the fact that you stop and relax while enjoying it. You can’t be running around doing washing, cleaning etc. It’s a nice little break from the world.

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