I Literally Don’t Want To Hear Anything About It (Or Why I’m Not Accepting Comments)

The last post I made was my 40th.  It was also my second post of 2013.  The first being in January, the second being in December.  I feel as if it is rather telling that my only posts of the year have been in the months of January and December.  Despite the fact that time will roll on almost, maybe indefinitely (what?  I’m not a scientist) we all still mark January and December as beginnings and endings respectively.  Of course my personal time will come to an end at some point, but I am pretty damn certain that time itself will keep rolling on.  What I’m getting at is that is makes sense that my only blog posts of the year have been at both the beginning and end of said year.  It is the season for celebrating but also taking stock, that is bound to lead to some personal reflection even if it’s only about whether it is better to be covered by your doona or not.  I don’t know, I have just felt the urge the past few months to share.  To leave something behind, even if it is only my shitty words on a shitty blog.  While I may be disparaging, it is the best I can personally do, and if I keep doing it I am bound to get a little a better at it.  Practice makes perfect and all.  So that’s my story and I am sticking to it.

Since returning to my blog I have had a bit of a fiddle with the settings to make it more a user friendly.  That is, user friendly for ME.  Given my unreliable presence at this blog I don’t exactly have a built up readership so really I am the only user at this point.  But like that crazy guy building a baseball field for ghosts, build it and they will come.  Thing is though, I can’t actually be bothered dealing with comments.  That sounds like I am the biggest asshole, but hear me out.  So far, in my thus far 40 posts I have only ever had nice and thoughtful comments.  I know, some problem right?  But that’s just it, it is a problem, how can I do justice to someone who has taken time out of their day to comment of my little tiny blog when I just can’t be bothered respond?  I realised I can’t, so it is simply better for all involved that I remove even the option for comments to save your time, should you have otherwise been inclined to leave a comment, and my time banging my brains out about how to respond.  We are all winners here.

I will eventually turn them back on, I just need time to get more into the swing of blogging again.

My Meeting With Blogging HR

Well, let’s see what we have here.  Sorry for the mess.  Please, take a seat, let me just get those papers out of your way.  Ah, okay, so I bought you in today to discuss, err, crying in the bathroom; is it?  Well, to put it frankly, you haven’t really been performing as we expected you to Miss.  In your interview you said you were keen to write at least somewhat regularly, now we aren’t so unreasonably that we don’t understand that things crop up from time to time, but you haven’t been in touch at all.  Not once since, um, September…

August, actually.

August!  My gosh, well it’s taken a long time for you to get in here hasn’t it.  Well, let me start out by saying that the purpose of this meeting is to find out what we can do to get things rolling again.  Is there anything you need from us, any support you need, or something you feel needs to be changed…

Well, um, not really.  You guys do a great job, and I didn’t have a problem exactly, it sort of just, I don’t know, got out of hand I guess.  I didn’t know this was going to happen; it just sort of got away from me.

Riiiiight, so where do we stand?  Should we think about, perhaps, shutting…

I’ll start writing again.

Good, good.  That’s what we aim to see.  Well.  What are you waiting for, get to it…  Oh, and if you could put that to me an email, that would be super.

 

:/

© cryinginthebathroom 2012

Blog Stats: How Do I Loathe Thee? Let Me Count The Ways

I loathe the to the depth and breadth and height

My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight

Now with 100% more country stats!  Oh, can I please have more ways to confirm that no one is reading?  Please, my ego isn’t fragile enough, but I definitely need more ways to categorize the handful of people reading this drivel.  I loathe blog stats.  Despise them, yet I am addicted to refreshing that page.  I’m undoubtedly admitting a habit that many bloggers share.  I am obsessed with watching that little graph.  When I post something I become a women possessed.  I will constantly be refreshing my WordPress iPhone app to see when people read it.  If that number moves, I then immediately check my email to see if any other bloggers ‘like’ my post – or better yet, comment!

My views are never enough for me.  No matter how ‘clicks’ I get per day, which isn’t many, it is never enough.  I’m never satisfied.  I wouldn’t go as far to say it ruins my day, but since I started blogging it is constantly on my mind.  It is probably safe to assume that when you log on your computer for the first time that day you have a little routine of internet-y places you visit.  Everyone’s is slightly different, but mine used to go Facebook, Email, Get Off My Internets, then finally Daily Mail (It pains me a little to list this one, especially given my degree in journalism).  Since I started blogging however my first stop is now the WordPress stats page, which I will generally leave open in order refresh with alarming frequency.

Since I have a little time on my hands lately (READ: unemployed) I decided to sit down and try and maximize my page views.  WordPress actually have a section with tips to increase your readership.  Obviously, social networking is a big part of that, so I spent sometime creating a Facebook page and Tumblr account.  Commenting and liking other blogs is also recommended, but to be honest I barely have enough time to comment on the blogs I already follow let alone trying to add more for ‘clicks’ sake.  I also started posting to Reddit and StumbleUpon.  This gave my page views a major boost.  You’d think I’d be happy, or at least happier.  You would be wrong.

I got what I wanted but it was a hollow victory.

Continue reading

Comfortable Naked – Failures In Blogging

Just sitting with my writing is a disconcerting experience, how I imagine one with low body image feels when dashing into the shower so fast their reflection is a mere a blur in the mirror.  Or worst, those who bathe with the lights off.  It’s a reflection of yourself, what’s in your heart, head or soul.  It’s putting something out there, with your name on it, standing by your convictions.  Nothing I have written here is revolutionary or ground-breaking, and that makes me sad.  I am still learning how to not walk away from a blank page, filing it in the ‘too hard basket’, and not trying.

That’s the worst feeling isn’t it?  Failing to make an attempt, seeing what others write and are prepared to put their stamp on while thinking, “What the fuck, I could do better than that.”  But you don’t, not if you walk away from the blank page.  There are always better things to do.  Each one of us blogging is exhibiting a tremendous amount of privilege in being able to do so freely.  But some blogger’s just don’t get it.  They act like assholes, and their writing isn’t even remotely good enough for them to get away with it.  Yet they do – more on that later.

Sometimes it isn’t even their writing – but actually how they operate their blog that gets my hackles up.  So I have designed a little list for you to use as a guideline to make your blog a happier place.  A place people want to visit, rather than a place that produces so much side-eye that it should come with an epilepsy warning.

 

Heading

If your blog has some derivative of ‘my little corner of the web’ as its heading tagline, I invite you to take your less than creative ass to Twitter.  I mean really – we’re all trying here, but that is not trying.  That is giving up.  Be creative, thoughtful, funny, verbose, snarky, hungry, dirty, anything – just anything.  Have a point.  I understand that if you have a personal self-reflection blog it can be hard to some up, so treat that tagline as a litmus test of sorts.  If you can’t come up with one line that sums up what you and your blog are all about, perhaps blogging isn’t for you.

Also, if you have “Just another wordpress.com site” as your tagline you deserve to have your high speed broadband disconnected and replaced with a dial-up modem.  You’re lucky I’m not confiscating the whole internet.

 

Comments

There is nothing like finding a nice new blog that hits all your right buttons, it’s like discovering a yet unheard of book.  The smaller the blog the better as far as I’m concerned, I have never been a fan of uber blogs.  Something just happens to the material when a blog becomes unwieldy; like the mass media it becomes diluted and strained for the masses to be spoon-fed on, rather than raw and rough around the edges, the way it was first intended.

It always strikes me as odd when a blog that has a mere handful of comments per post has comment moderation turned on.  Who are you moderating, ye of small page views?  If you have had more birthdays than total amount of comments there is nothing to moderate, although it begs the question: who’s trolling you?  Turn it off and let the comments flourish, rather than gumming up the works with ‘your comment is awaiting moderation’ malarky.

 

Interactions

Following on from the comments we have interactions.  It is just plain rude to ignore a comment.  Period.  This isn’t about bumping up your page view stats, it’s about being polite.  Now, it has become apparent from reading some comment threads that your mother’s didn’t teach you that others will not always agree with you.  Say it with me – “people will not always agree with me”.  A bit of discourse in a comment thread is great, we all learn a bit about one another and walk away richer for the experience.  But if you react like a spoiled brat every time someone chimes in with a difference of opinion you are just that, a spoiled brat.  There is no need to get nasty, mind your damn manners people.  I know it’s the internet and we are all hiding behind our computer screens, but that’s not a license to turn into a grade A jerk.

 

Posting

However often you wish to post is up to you.  There is no right amount.  But if you post multiple times a day with only a Youtube clip, or a picture you find, you are annoying and belong on pinterest.  Nobody wants that clogging up their inbox.  If someone has deemed your blog worth following, you need to show some respect and not troll their inbox.

 

I haven’t mentioned anything about content, spelling, or grammar.  To me, those aspects of blogging are personal and secondary to what I have deemed be the basic etiquette of blogging.  Write about anything and everything, it’s not for me or anyone to judge what you should and shouldn’t put on the internet.  Its public domain, and if your happy to stand by your work, then who am I to judge said work.  I will say this though: if you do nothing else, at least run each post through spellcheck, it’s the least you can do.

 

 

P.S.  None of this applies to my blog as I don’t read it.